Friday, July 15, 2011

You Men Often Confuse....

a woman COMMUNICATING with Combativeness/Complaining.  Yeah! It's true!  As soon as a woman opens her mouth to convey a disappointment or something that has upset her  ...It's an automatic "you just trying to argue, or start a fight", OR we get hit with the "you're always complaining" response. I cannot count how many conversations I've had with girlfriends in which  they have expressed to me,or I to them, how frustrating it can be when we try to voice what we are feeling to our partner. ....In fact, I think men do not believe that women also find arguing exhausting! It's draining and time consuming just as much for us as it is for you.....So it irks me and I'm sure other  women to the core when men automatically assume we are complaining or wanting to fight when its quite the opposite. 

With that being said.....I wanted to offer some clarification to the male species...Let me be clear.....When most women have an issue with her partner she brings it to his attention... NOT to be combative, but to express what she is feeling. Her purpose is to encourage some dialogue, find a resolution and move on. Period! Personally, I  will let something "ride" the first time (contingent upon the magnitude of it, of course).... the second time I'm going to COMMUNICATE and bring whatever is is to you  that has upset me to your attention....AFTER, it has been  brought to your attention I'm going to give you the opportunity to Which means Respond to what I expressed to you, Act on it ( meaning fix/correct it), or let you,or I make the decision to Move on... if there is no willingness or desire to talk out issues then its really a sign to press forward because quite frankly nothing productive or fruitful is coming from any relationship that lacks communication. 

Male or Female...I find it unfair when people hold back their feelings with their partner, solely, because you are not giving them an opportunity to fix/make adjustments to whatever it is that is bugging you. If you do not take the time to talk about whats hurting/bothering you  then you are not "allowed" to go bizerk on a person because you've reached your  limit with them.  In my "professional" You are wrong! NOT the recipient of your explosion! You failed to COMMUNICATE your "limit", your expectations, needs, wants,..and THAT, revokes your pass to go - off.

On the FLIP SIDE to this message.....I will add .....A response to everything is not always required. Sometimes, its better to just listen to what the other person has to say.... THEN, come back later with a response IF necessary. Most importantly ..chose your battles, and chose them wisely. Some things are just not worth going through WWII over.

I will conclude by saying this.. I'm more than aware of the fact that, there ARE woman out there who love to argue, and who lack effective communication skills....So I say to the women....If you are hooping and hollering and being combative with him, how do you expect to resolve anything, or even expect him to internalize what you are trying to get across to him? MEN, Do Not always assume she is trying to pick a fight when she is being vocal about what she is feeling...she  just wants to be heard, work through it and move on.  I strongly believe that Communication has proven and still proves to be beneficial, and  if executed properly it can do amazing things in ANY type of relationship.

Your thoughts on the subject?

*Disclaimer: I hate do not be alarmed or offended by this bloggers desire not to edit any post that she writes

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